I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
