I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
