Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
