but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
