I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
