how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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