Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
