So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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