i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
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Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I supernannyed him into submission
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