i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
