if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
