hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
