You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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