So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
