i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
