No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
