It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
