dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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