I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
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just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
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Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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