We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
