Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize