I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
