would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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