Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
