she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
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theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
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But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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