im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
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