Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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