just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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