God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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