At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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