so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
