just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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