You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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