Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
