So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
