3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
