Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
