I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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