Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
