wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
