he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
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I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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