If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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