So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
