she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
