this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
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You. Win. At. Life.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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