so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
