I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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