I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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