My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
