yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
