And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Non-Jews are for practice
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
