we have officially lost it.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
