i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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