I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
