If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
