honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
