A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Are we still banned from the library?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
