So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Last time i carry you out of a forest
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
