Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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